Suddenly, in the 7th (lucky for some) minute, an England goalkeeper stopped the ball, picked it up and threw it away - in disgust!
English roses squealed with delight, others jumped up and down on the sofa - that'll cost a pretty package to repair, and then - ROONEY gets the ball and advances, the 3 Lions on his chest pumping out saliva and sweat, or is it him....?
Chips and peanuts have been replenished, glasses topped up - again.
All is calm then the 22nd minute - Haskey scores....! English roses wet themselves, so does Keefer, he's swallowed the ice cubes and has to be rescuscitated....!
The poultry spy a chance, re-enter the room and attack the crisps and peanuts....nobody gives a damn because Calamity James has stopped another one!
Switch to USA, and Bill Clinton is spotted - isn't that Monica just in front of him, kneeling down?
The girlies are all singing "Heskey, I'm yours tonight" (to the tune of "Queenie") changed rapidly to "Hell, I'm anybodies tonight"!
John and Keefer (now happily recovered) mutter to each other "Thank God for that, might get some sleep"
29th minute, Lampard misses, the ladies strike him off the list!
Then it's quiet again.
Beckham's up and screaming something in what is possibly Welsh - the ladies say "Oh, isn't he lovely"- and add him to the list!
A few neighbours are to be seen peering through the window, disconcerted by the goings-on, and then Rooney swats flies with his foot, twice - in the 54th and 57th minute, and decides only to hit the post!
67 minutes, and here come the other lot!
Terry goes into human cannonball mode, he's decided to attempt the Victoria Cross - posthumously!
Death and/or Glory........
69th minute (Bill Clinton's favourite) it all starts to go wrong!
Rooney misses again - some Italian guy takes England's lion off!
Terry has definately entered the final stages of death by glory, and the Brits in Bret are singing "Queenie" again, together with the rest of the mob!
The neighbours say they prefer "uze zeelas" - Revolution is in the air!
Famous last 15 minutes, the German ref lets 4 more minutes play, English roses calls him all sorts of names, but makes up for it later on!
Over - finished - won!
Well - that is if you consider being second behind the USA as winning....!
No problem - only Germany next - probably!
And the German commentator repeats his phrase - "England wankt again"!
So everyone had a nice time, apart from the unfortunate chicken that left its life for the celebration "thanksgiving" supper!
And they all lived happily ever after (apart from the chicken that is).