So - to keep you occupied, I've decided to re-publish one or two "older" articles.
As soon as possible, I'll be back on the "straight & narrow" - I hope!
Since they are all going voting today, putting "X" in little boxes - generally the wrong one, but then "X" is the only thing a lot of the new generation know how to write - her's an older article on that strange species:
(incidentally - most of the capable politicians they will be voting for are - SCOTSMEN.....!)
If anything could explain a little bit the phenomenon of the Englishman, I suppose the 2 photos and 2 designs go a little way.
Supposedly cool calm and collected, suave with common good sense, unflappable, unexcitable, absolutely none of the 'vulgar' continental outbreaks of temperamentful screaming/shouting etc. he is, in fact , a completely mixed up piece of merchandise.
He wants to scream out his patrimony, but can't - accepts all creeds, colours, sizes,shapes of everything, is proud of this fact , but reserves the right to complain about all of these things- all of the time!
Don't ever (for example) say to an Englishman that you find his Royalty, old-fashioned or feudal. Even the greatest enemy (when at home) of Royalty, will take enormous umbrage at the fact that anybody (apart from an Englishman, of course) should consider himself qualified to make the slightest statement on ANY matter concerning " God's personal garden of Eden".
This is a part of his make-up. He finds it ridiculous that other people don't drive on the wrong side of the road,stupid that they all use the same currency, simple things like the Lotto take centuries to break through, and are then adopted as though they were an English invention. Even the question of language doesn't escape. If everybody spoke OUR language, life would be easier! For whom? (In this latter point, they have,nevertheless, been able to applicate the law!)
I recall years ago, when the English had resisted for many years the idea even of applying for membership into a 'club full of frogs/spicks/krauts and other undesirables' the headlines, and the howls of indignation, when a certain General de Gaulle said - "NON!!"
This was unheard of! Who the hell did he think he was, this funny little clown General?
Well, he was a very clever little clown General. He knew that if you refuse the English something, which they say they don't want anyway, then they will want it. If you refuse them it a second time, they will want it even more, and by the third refusal, they will consider even BEGGING for it! A fourth refusal is WAR!!
This is the make up of the character.
Apart from Germans, Frenchmen, Italians, Spanish, Portugese (the list is unending) he loves everything and everyone. From the long list of what he doesn't like, he will,can and does, make individual/collective exceptions (for example when his favourite football team is made up of 11 NON-English players - as is mainly the case, OR when his local Italian/French/German etc restaurant is taken to task by somebody from OUTSIDE of the area) and will see nothing abnormal by so doing.
I recall years ago being asked by a Luxembourg citizen, on holiday in Spain, what the matter was with English girls. It appeared that no amount of trying (over 13 days and nights) to bed the girlie concerned, had produced the required result - until the absolute LAST night, when she went wild, justifying the change of attitude with the statement that " it was our LAST night together, and I might never see you again."
As he constated, it could have been much more agreeable, if she had seen the 14 days and nights as 'our last nights together'.
I was unable to give him a satisfactory reply.
It is important to realise that an Englishman is an Englishman, and has nothing to do with his near neighbours,the Scotsman, Irishman or Welshman.
I agree with him, we have little in common, as you will see later in my brilliant exposition on the charming and brilliantly intellectual Scotsmen.
Let us leave the Englishman to his Shakespearian ruminations, others have their own, often more truthful and interesting ones.
Next one (much later ) your MUCH LOVED GERMAN BUGGER (sorry- Burger ).
Wednesday, February 23, 2005