It all starts shortly!

In about
2hours and 25 minutes, it's kick-off time for a whole 6 WEEKS of impossible stuff!
They call it "The Gentleman's Sport" (as seen in the photo above), and it consists of trying to kick an object (I can't call it a ball, because everybody knows that a ball is round) - oval in shape, from one side of a green space to the other, trying to avoid the avid interests of a load of opponents, capable of breaking every bone in you body, to stop you doing so.
Therefore, to make it a little more exciting, the "goal" is made rather larger than in other sports, being the whole width of the green playing area. The actual bit that makes up a sort of "target area" is an "H" shaped piece of wood, of which, only the upper bit plays any role at all - if you get the oval object OVER the - in the "H", somebody gives you some points! Why bother, the rest of the "goal area", is easier, being the width of the green space allowed, and gets more points anyway, should you get the oval object onto the ground behind this line, and lie on it, making frantic love to the oval object for a while, until your team mates decide that they want a bit of that as well!


Now - as I understand it, if one is good at this pastime, one can be awarded a "cap" or "capot", by mysterious people, somewhere, which is good news, since the same thing - a "capote" is known for stopping the spread of AIDS in certain circumstances. However, the facts remain the same, this thing, oval in shape, you have to ADVANCE with, but you mustn't pass it FORWARDS, only KICK it FORWARDS (of course, being oval, when the damned thing touches the ground, it has a tendency to bounce in its own way, mainly backwards, forwards, to the right, to the left, and on muddy days, it can actually get stuck upright in the ground.)
How the devil can you advance by going backwards? Well, they seem to!
They also have a sort of rule of conduct, which involves obligatory punching, scratching, eye gouging, kick in the goolies, and any other form of physical attack you can imagine, all of which are fervently and franatically applauded by thousands of people who have decided to waste their hard earned money to come and watch, preferring this stuff to the simple practice of battering each others heads with "boxing gloves" on - after all, there's only two involved in that, here we've got anything up to 30 people busily at it - Value for money!
Well - good luck to them, in around 2hours and 4 minutes, they'll be off for 6 weeks of heaven, they call it!
Personally, I think I prefer a sport like the following pictures depicts, much more arty and decent in calm behaviour - tasty too!