It's the weekend, quiet, calm, typically English in Summer (that's the period that lasts roughly from 7-11 August) in that "green and pleasant land"
At least the village fete doesn't last 8 days, as it does here...!
A quiet, dignified game of cricket, on the village green, whilst the merry makers taste the sponge cakes and other local housewives specialities.
And then - MURDER MOST FOUL.....and - for a change, this is an English village where "Miss Marple" does NOT live!
The fete carries on, in spite of at least 3 murders - that's the average for each episode...!
Number one got his head crushed by one of the church bells, and the blood dripped into the sanctuaary......
Number Two decided that she'd had enough of chasing the vicar who hadn't quite followed the required lessons at school, years ago, but then - it IS a Catholic church....
Number Three got an arrow through his eye, just like Harold, and since he was on the Village green partaking of a "nice cup of tea" and a piece of sponge jam sandwich, his splutterings and splashings of blood somewhat deranged the other visitors - but not for long! Guess where the arrow was fired from.....Yep - from the Church tower!
Number Four, we're still waiting for - next episode, maybe....?
Side effects of all this were that the Vicar divorced his wife and got married to the local newspaper boy...
The local orchidée amateur had a heart attack due to the mis-directed 1st arrow, which pierced the heart of his latest discovery. This crime was not investigated!
The Vicar's wife, now single but having also lost her lover (who was murder number three above) decided she'd had enough, and became the first Archbishopresse of York, fell in love with the Dutchess of the same name, and both disappeared to America where they had their own chat show, organised by Oprey....!
Sadly, the Chief Inspector got thrown out of the local bowls club for throwing metal objects on the green turf and thus severely damaging it. Since he was already on the verge of pensionable age, he went to the Gretagne in France, where they let him throw anything on the ground, and lived happily ever after, with a glass of wine in one hand, a pastis in the other, occasionally throwing a foot at a passing poultry beast - What heaven!
All nonsense - well, of course it is, it's fiction - but read on......
The "Gypsy" hand reader, the coconut shy's, the Punch and Judy still carried on, in spite of an unexpected presence in the Village....
These are the people responsible for all these happenings - apart from the murderer of course!
And - they come in force.....
but the big boss is this fellow, with his capable assistant "Troy":
A typical Englishman, police chief inspector, he always gets his man or woman, and when he's had enough of it all, he relaxes in typically English manner-
On the whole, a typical weekend for the gentlemen and gentlewomen of "Badger's Drift" - they're used to it, it happens almost every day........!
Mind you - we all seem to like it!
Have a quieter weekend than I seem to have planned....!