Message in a bottle!!

Jeanie Well!

I have always been told that whatever you find in a bottle has to be good! Do not doubt it, live with it! That is what I have done up till now. I have sacrificed many thousands of bottles, and have found them to be GOOD!
I have even partaken of the contents of many a "jar" - and found them to be GOOD!
People have even told me that if you rub HARD and LONG on the spout of your lamp, you will have pleasure! I tried, often, and it was true - everytime!
For these reasons I simply cannot believe what is happening to me!
I had occasion (or rather I had nothing else to do) to run my anti-virus programme. I, like many of you never do this until it's too late! After all - if one pays the fee, one expects all the bugs to go elsewhere!
It took me somewhere around 90 minutes to find out that I had 4 BUGS! That after a maximum of 9 days since the last re-install!
Now 2 of these BUGS were held in the VV (Virus vault - a sort of prison, with bars on the windows, and a nasty, very nasty looking GREEN monster, peering through the bars, Prisoner ).

With much remorse (I am against the death penalty, basically), I found no other possibility than to push on the button marked - "DESTROY" - (it wasn't even in RED) - and the nasty pair of them went off elsewhere, probably to my mate Chippie, leaving me with the other two villains!
THIS is where it gets naughty!!
My virus programme informed me that these 2 nasty little burgers were holed-up in a part of my PC which had been considered by me (up till then) safe, and somehow "magical" - My "Java"! Not only my Java, but even worse, my "Java jar[1]"!!! Can you imagine - your genie is actually AIDS!!!
I passed many a prayer to "Tinkerbelle" asking her to arrange her fairy friends, but after 24 hours I had no option. I had to put them into a special ward, with bars on the window, with neighbours who are green and , probably no medecine, care, or attention. Nothing (but absolutely nothing) to nourish themselves from.
Such are myths - good genies in a bottle, in a jar, don't exist!
I think I'll even stop rubbing HARD and LONG on my spout - it makes me think of green monsters in prison cells, and somehow the pleasure is absent - Could this have something to do with my age? In any case, somehow my faith in Genies, Fairies, Lotto, Football pools etc has taken a seriousWise GuySMACK!

Nonetheless:
A confirmed and adjured European.

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