Summer newsletter 2005

As you can imply, summer has arrived. In fact it's been here for about a month and a half, and the last 10 days have been hell! Just like the hot steam bath shown above, but without having to actually jump in.

Anyway, it's that "tourist time" and they have to have the heat. BE WARNED all the same, because traditionally weather like this means trouble not too much later on in the year, with floods, downpours very violent electrical storms, you all know the sort of thing I'm talking about, 'cos you've all enjoyed them in the past. This year, I must say, it has all started very early, very hot, very long, no rain, menacing clouds the evening which pass on, leaving you there like a limp lettuce! All the joys of summer holiday, you know, the period you have saved up all year for, and a part of those joys finds itself in those oh-so-menacing clouds!!

Anyway, passing onto other news, without giving away the anonymity of individuels!

I understand that my mate Chippie should be presenting himself and his fairy to the ravages of the sunshine again this year, and will doubtless be searching for the pleasures of poultry (alive- on the wing - and not like me "dead and roasted") flying through the thick marshy undergrowth of the area, chased by multitudes of millions of little winged things that go "zzzzzzzzzz..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" in your ear (normally in the middle of the night). Seems a strange obsession to have, pay a fortune to get chased by mosquitoes, when a good caning could be had for free! Must be a reason for it all!

Those people from the flatter countryside, Wacky-Backy and entourage, will also be doing their wacky (with or without backy) things. It took us a while to acclimatise ourselves to these type of tourists, but I think we have, more or less, now. At least it takes us longer to be surprised at the things they get up to. Typical holiday things like young daughters diving out of airplanes, and plunging into the depths, watched by a Papa nonchalent! At least outwardly that's the idea he tries to give. I suspect there is no larger sigh of relief given by anyone on the ground, when daughter finally touches down! Quite normal holiday things!!

British Bulldog and Company will take the sophisticated way out - again, and arrive when they think everyone has gone, only to find the place crowded out by same-thinking people, and after a short period of grunting and growling under the breath, will get on with it, saying again (as every year) "glad we come later, must be terrible in high summer!"

Yours truly will continue to hide from the sun, the tourists, the police (but that's normal) the family (or anyone elses family), and this year - for the first time in 25 years or more - I will not be holding any of the traditional "marquis du Galipot court banquets" (to which I was always obliged to invite 50% of people I didn't want to invite!). Mr le marquis has opted this year, for the more discreet "individuel" orgies, finding them more "managable" since they rarely involve more that 4-6 people! My mate Chippie will not be happy with this arrangement - risking as it may do- his rare opportunities to sound off in his fluent French and Dutch and German and Spanish and Italien smatterings! Sorry, Chippie - forgive me?

This arrangement will make my Bank Manager's eyes water with gratitude (or laughter?) but I did promise him to restrict my "outgoings" (or at least to try to!). Well - I've tried, Chuckles, - any chance of a larger overdrawal?

The local French people, known or not known by the readers of this summer newsletter, are all in relative good health, no changes, won't be any changes this year, their swimming pools have been paid for by others, and now it has been forbidden (for the moment) to fill them with water, they beleive things will be as in last years, with reduced expenditure for food and drink (mr le marquis always supplied!) etc., etc., etc., Shame really - they can't even drown themselves in the pool!

If invited, I may even pop by and partake of something edible (if findable) at their table. I can talk like this because everything is anonymous, and they can't speak English anyway! They have trouble speaking French, and that NEVER on the 'phone!

Anyway - nothing astonishingly new, it's holiday/panto/comedy time again folks. All I want to know now is what is going to happen THIS year to Chippy and Tinkerbelle. Every year there's something - let's be surprised - again!

Anyway, I'll stop now - let you get on with your packing, hope to see you all in the nearer future (if you wish) and send you the normal greetings