Just what is going on over there in the old Empire land?

HP Sauce moving to Holland, Baked Beans going too. Airfix kits bankrupt, the Queen being acted out (better than the original, I understand) by an aging actress, a PM who can't decide where, when and why to disappear.

All in all, since Mr le Marquis' departure, it's been all downhill.

Most Empire citizens nowadays have a skin colour rather less than the traditional white, due to overdrawn Credit Card accounts (apparantly everybody is hopelessly in debt) which enable them to voyage to other climes!

Divorce is rife, everybody being pleased that the last figures didn't show an increase, staying at around 176,000 new divorces!

"Coming-outs" are on the daily order, gone is the mystery about the personal love direction of famous people. Wasn't it great fun to spread rumours about this, that and the other?

Scots, Irish and Welsh have realised that the Great Capital is no longer capable of representing them, having taken and spent all of the gas and petrol resources - without seeing a great deal from the resulting riches.

All in all, I reckon Mr le Marquis is going to be forced, at sometime in the future, to return and sort you all out!

Get you to appreciate frogs legs, tasty snails and all the things you've all forgotten!

Even sliced bread is no longer what it was, it only squeezes down to half size now, whereas in the past it squeezed down to about the thickness of 3 slices - very usefull for freezing.

Talking about freezing - well, a drought has set in, and pet camels are being considered as a possibility of transport!

One day cricket matches are the only things to be rained off, whereas normally EVERYTHING was rained off.

You've all completely spoiled the Traditions and State of the Empire - shame on you! Here are a few of the things which have all but gone:

Big Ben Cricket Stonehenge being replaced with things like this Big Brother !

PS: When is Empire day now?







A confirmed and adjured European.

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