Lagged.

Vauvert, France. 14 November 2006

Sitting here, toothless, up to the hilt in debts, nothing to eat, nothing to drink, unable to pay my heating bills, nothing to wear, I think I'm going to become a real criminal. After all, if I get away with my crime, then I'll be rich, and won't have the problems anyway! If not, then - INSIDE!
You see, in prison, you get 3 meals a day, the cells are heated, you don't pay bills (apart from that to society). Health treatment is automatic, I suppose free of charge........
Does that mean that INSIDE I can get a Dentist to make me my necessaries free, whilst OUTSIDE I have to pay a fortune?
I'll make sure, of course, that I am considered a drug-addic (does that apply to Alcohol and cats and tobacco as well?) before committing my crime, I'll try and make sure they "cold turkey" me whilst inside, and when I get out, I'll sue, and have lots of money to waste on booze and stuff! (See the latest news from UK about Addicts in Prison and their successful charge of Human Rights Abuse against the British Government.)
What are the drawbacks anyway? Can I take my cat inside with me? After all I have a craving for cats!
Any other problems about being inside?
I'll have to ask my mate Chippie, who spent months on a male-only Merchant Navy ship!

iwmpop (Mr. le Marquis)
A confirmed and adjured European.

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