Ron & Eff Christmas 2006 ( almost final Part)

"Well, that all turned out all right," said Ron, relieved that no further disasters had arrived during the day! "We got a little something for everybody, we had a nice, peaceful Lunch, we even saw off that funny "Creche" thing, with live figures. Actually, Eff, I thought Wackie's daughter looked lovely and very convincing as Mary. I just wish they would stop taking me for a bloody elf, I'm getting a bit fed up with it!"

"Yes, Ron," said Eff," and even I got my "little something" - it really is Christmas this year! I'm not sure that you should try and wear those green paper hats we got out of our Christmas crackers though, I think it was that which gave them the idea you were playing the part of an Elf! Never mind, it all went down ever so well, and we had a good time, didn't we?"

"Yeah," replied Ron,"even when that horse doing the tram job suddenly took a dislike to us, and lifted it's tail - Christ, I thought I was back home on a Sunday morning, after the curried sauce with the fish and chips!"

Ron stretched, luxuriously, on the bed, and said,"Well, I suppose I'll have to slowly get ready for action, Eff! Another couple of hours and we'll be right into the swing of things. Just imagine, in France, at an American style of thing, English with Dutch, biting away at my favourite Foi Gras and stuff, a few snails and frogs legs, I suppose, maybe a couple of dozen oysters, all wriggling and wriggling inside me! What more could you want?"

"Oh, Ron - you know full well that you wouldn't dare touch stuff like that, it's only people like the Marquis who eats that!"

Ron took it all with ease.

"If I wanted to eat the bloody stuff, I would, but they've got no taste these aristocratic nurds, and anyway he's probably eating corned beef out of a tin!" (Ron had lost all respect, and fear of Mr. le Marquis, whom he knew to be far away and not in any dangerous position).

"Anyway, I'll get off and have my shower, if you can do without me for half an hour," said Ron, in a tone which said - "hey, I'm the best, and don't forget it ".

"All right, Ron," said Eff, in a falsely submissive tone."If you leave the hair dryer out, it'll save me having to look for it later, but be careful how you dry yourself, my love, and don't leave it plugged in again when you've got slippy hands, gave you quite a jolt last time". **************************

"Well," said Eff," I know Wacky said he would send around the car they had said he could use, but this?

I feel like Cinders going off to the ball!"

"Just as long as you remember who your Prince is," said Ron,who felt a little bit deflated, " I must say it does seem a little bit extreme just for a couple of hundred yards!"

"Yes, but it's the effect and the atmosphere that count, Ron - it's ever so romantic isn't it?"

"I suppose so, Eff, but I can't help feeling that the little walk would have done us good, after being locked up in that room for quite a while."

"Yes, Ron, but it was lovely, wasn't it? All by ourselves, again for a couple of hours!"

"Anyway, Eff, that's all over, we'll be at the Restaurant in a couple of minutes, and then Christmas starts, and will be finished by this time tomorrow!"

"Oh, Ron, sometimes you are such a romantic sod,"said Eff, who rarely used bad language, but felt that it was necessary at this moment.

"Now - I don't want ANYTHING to spoil our Christmas Eve festivities Ron, have you understood? You're not going to wear green party hats, bits of water cress , you're not going to drink too much, watch out what you say to Mr & Mrs Wacky Backy, wipe your nose if it starts to run after the soup, and make sure that you don't mention things like golf!"

"Christ," said Ron,"sounds like a wonderful evening is to be awaited! I know what I should do and what I shouldn't!"

"Now then, Ron, don't get upset, we're there, help me out of this car thing.!

"Didn't even get a chance to test the bar in this thing - wonder if they've really got ice cubes!" ******************************

Tripping over the rail, Ron fell into the arms of Wacky, who was waiting with his wife in front of the entrance.

"Aha - I said to my wife - I bet Ron finds out where the bar is in that car. I've still to find it. Do they really have ice cubes?"

"I don't bloody well know," Ron started to explain, but too late - Wacky was helping Eff out of the limousine in a manner which suggested he was so used to it.

Eff gave Ron a sideglance as she passed on the arm of Wacky and suggested that Mrs Wacky could use a bit of help, if Ron felt up to it, and not too woozy!

Finally our heros marched in triumph into the large, extravagantly arranged Banqueting room, where all was ready for the real events!

(This was intended to be the last part, but due to technical difficulties, I'm afraid there will be the last part to arrive VERY shortly).