Thoughts on the 3 March.

My wife Kathleen (nee Odell), was quite an exceptional woman. I suppose many husband's say the same thing of their wives, but through the 25 years of our marriage, up to her death 14 years ago today, I was constantly surprised by her resilience.

We were often the only two "British" people in whole areas of Germany or France, and although unable, at the beginning, to speak the languages concerned very well, we learnt very quickly, and it's not easy when you have to deal with civil servants, speaking their own local dialect of German or French!

My story with my wife started in 1963/64, when she found herself installed in Germany, as a condition to her being accepted by Guy's Hospital, London, to fulfill her 6 month's overseas "experience". Guy's insisted on this at the time, and it wasn't a bad idea, giving the ongoing State Registered Nurses a little more confidence in themselves. Not only 8 "O" levels, 6 "A" levels (good enough for a University place) were sufficient for Guy's Hospital! Maybe that's why the Guy's College of Nursing trained people were, and still are, much sought after - worldwide.

However, there she was, installed at an Army Canteen, known colloquially as the Sally Bash - actually the Salvation Army's organization of canteens and centres for British Soldiers, everywhere around the world, wherever British Soldiers were present.

She told me later that she would always put one of my favourite little cakes aside, just in case I came for my "NAAFI" break coffee, which wasn't always the case! (Kate as a trainee Nurse in Trafalgar Square)

My next meeting with her was about a year later, at my parents home in London, where I found her installed with two other of her Student friends.She was in full fling of Nursing College life, and her studies were going along well. We married on 24 October 1968, at Wandsworth Registry Office, my best man was one of her female student friends, and our "reception" was in our little Bedsitter just off Battersea Rise, Clapham. It consisted of some bits and pieces to eat, and one bottle of Martini! We were, thankfully, only 4 people!

The following day, I returned to Germany, to my duties, and she went back to Nursing College!

(In Lorrach, Germany in front of "iced" tree)
(Ian & Kate - New years party in Detmold, W Germany circa 1968)
(Kate in our appartment in Allgau, Bavaria circa 1980)

Over the following 25 years, we travelled throughout Europe and the World, we were both erstwhile Soldier, Nurse, Civil Servant's (Home Civil Service), Civil Servant's (Overseas Service), back to Nursing, Hotel Chef in my case, and the marriage was a perfect one - I (as a chef) made everybody ill, and my wife nursed them back to health! We were often much aided by our professions and by the fact that the most difficult of things to do (find somewhere to live) when you moved around Europe, was made considerably easier. Nearly all Hospitals have Accomodation for new personel and their families, and ALL Hotels have accomodation as well. This fact enabled us to get installed before looking around for better accomodation. It seemed that my wifes talents were greatly appreciated, everywhere, in particular her ability to "diagnose". She was greatly sought after, particularly by the younger, less-experienced Doctors.

In her own case, of course, this ability back fired, and unfortunately she had self-diagnosed her own health problems well before they were confirmed by any Doctor. She also was well aware of the probable outcome. In certain things, this made it all a little easier, not much, but we were at least able to talk about the darker side, openly with each other.

(Kate in hospital at Lorrach, W Germany circa 1991)

Kate is the subject, or is mentioned in detail, in most of my other articles, and when I write "we", then it is she who is meant.

The 25 years were troubled, wonderful, sad, happy, rich, poor - in fact, just like most people's marriages, only difference was that we were rarely still, in one place for long!

Those years flew by, and I can't really beleive that they are over, but they are, and that at a very early age.

I think that my position regarding Religion, or "caring God's", can be understood, which is more than can be said for "his mysterious ways"!

These seem to me to be simple excuses for those people who can't explain anything anyway!

I used to give a sort of "remember" buffet lunch on this day, but I stopped when I realised that the majority of friends and family present didn't "remember", and simply looked forward to the day as being a good meal, with lots of good fun! This would, I beleive, have been in the idea of my wife Kate, but health and other matters now make it impossible to fulfill this Calendar date.

I hope that, maybe, some others still do "remember" nevertheless!

(iwmpop) Mr le Marquis.