"O'ZAPFT IST'S"

Funny title? Well, not really, because that's what the Burgermeister from Munich, in Bavaria, Germany will have to scream, when he opens the Annual "Munchener Oktoberfest" today. It means "we're on tap", and the startshot has been given!
The idea is that the biggest Folksfestival in the world (named Oktoberfest, but always in September of every year) should start with the Lord Mayor hammering an enormous beertap into an even more enormous beer barrel, with a wooden mallet, in as few hits as possible, and without getting a shower of beer, over himself and the illustrious guests!
Important in the area, often a Lord Mayor is valued on his ability to get the tap on (and therefore usable) with not more than 3 hits!
Certain Lord Mayors, from the past, are still smarting from the slings and arrows of outragous misfortune, and being thrown out at the next election, all because he took 4 or 5 hits, or couldn't get the tap in at all, or provided the surrounders with a beer shower and shampoo!
It is a very serious thing, and if you look on the statistics, an enormous social event! There are more than 2 million visitors - PER DAY! The whole thing lasts some weeks, and the quantities of food and drink imbibed are enormous!
Just take care - if you go - because at somewhere around 6-8 euros the "mass" (a stone pitcher with 1 litre of beer) if you give the impression of being a tourist, you are likely to pay that amount for about 2 fingers of beer, and the rest foam! (You can't see through the stone, so you trust the large breasted lady who serves 20 or 30 "krugs" at a time!
Actually, you are supposed to look at her "dirndl" (the ceremonial dress she wears) which allows her breasts to be packed firmly, inwards and upwards, although the whole lot has a tendancy to pop outwards!
There is a large funfair as well, but the serious business goes on in the enormous "bierzelts"
which are almost permanent wooden covered with canvas "tents" capable of taking anything up to 4-5,000 people, all hell bent on getting smashed on beer, and sick on greasy, traditional foodstuffs like "schweinshax'n", "haend'l", "ochsenbrat'n" amongst other things!
Basically life stops in Munich during the Oktoberfest, with only the public transport working flat out!
Do a search on Google for "Oktoberfest, Munich" and be surprised!
Anyway - when I win the lotto this evening, I shall immediately book my trip!