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I know, it’s only the end of October! You’re not going to start on about Christmas already!
Why not Easter at the same time – indeed, why not everything at once, leaving the rest of the year free for important things!
Probably because certain people would never find time to go to work, they would never recuperate from celebrating, the whole World’s Economy would be shattered, we would all die, and my cat would be left all alone – poor beast!
I’m going to talk about Christmas!
I know a couple of people who have certain problems at this period of the year! Half Turkey’s are not easy to find, so when you are three at table, and you need one and one half Turkeys - what do you do?
Well, you can try (as they did) inviting a fourth to be at table, this means you require 2 Turkeys, and all you require now, is someone to cook the things!
Well…… What was the 4th person invited for anyway…….?
While he’s about it, might as well ask him to pop an extra pudding in, and some more mince pies (you never know who might turn up). Just keep a few of those chilled bottles in the fridge, and all will be OK Santa’s are a strange breed, maybe it’s all the sliding or falling down chimneys’, but they seem to be a bit soft in the head! They think that with a few “ho-ho-ho’s” they can get away with murder, or almost! What’s more, the kids (and the girlies) love it!
Mind you, around the snowy and festive season, anything risks getting a cuddle! Sometimes these kisses and cuddles have a Festive result, it “thaws the ice”, something which has its place! This period of the year finds us, generally, being saturated with all sorts of things we would never look at otherwise!
Strange things happen at our mail boxes! Is it the local Estate Agent who just wants to keep our minds on the next great deal (for him) or is it Great-aunt Thingamabob who still holds a large reserve of “elderly” greeting cards!
No – it’s the next door neighbour, who is trying to tell you something about the tree in your garden!
(Either that or he has a Great-Aunt Thingamabob who just popped off!).
Whoever it is, they always turn up at Christmas!
(you can tell if it’s old or new, with the time stamp in the bottom right corner!)
Of course, food plays an important role in our lives at this time of year.
Seems we have to eat to the point of feeling “unwell” and even “teetotalers” have a touch of a hangover, must be from the plum pudding!
I’ve already touched on the half turkey’s, difficult to stuff (the stuffing falls out) and the chipolatas situation has never been cleared up satisfactorily. Must the chipolatas be cut in two as well, if so – long ways or in the middle? What do we do with the sprouts, and the roast potatoes – cut them in half as well?
Problems, problems, decisions, decisions!
If all this could be left to the “lady of the house”, then others could pass a downright agreeable period but, irrespective of age, everyone is roped in to “ do their bit” Occasionally, it’s the last “bit” we ever do!
But – just to brighten all those up who “scrooge” – Ever thought that even in the word FUNeral, there is FUN!
So – just get on with it, don’t moan, groan, or otherwise spoil the festive spirit – Just pour it down your throat!
Just think – I’ll probably be doing the same thing!!
So I haven’t forgotten anything, and can disappear into my Hermitage to pass an agreeable period, here is the obligatory “rounding off” for the year !
Mr le Marquis du Galipot December 2007..