It’s a fact that when you’re lying around – particularly in a hospital bed, - you ask yourself how you could have got here.
When you’re aware, also, that you had and still have, many thoughts and ideas for the future both of yourself and the person you love, it does become extremely difficult to “stay calm” – particularly when you feel just great, if tired and weary of needles being stuck in you!
When you reach a stage that the very hospital you are in has almost run out of ideas, then you start wondering where you’re going!
Once again I’m lying here, waiting for the visit from some “specialist” vascular – from the Neurovascular Department. I seem to spend an awful lot of time just lying here – waiting! Be it for breakfast, lunch, dinner or a doctor, (sometimes Tina Concetta) – I spend more than half of the little time I have left just waiting! And it gets annoying…..!”
Right now it seems that they have finally decided that I was quite correct in what I said some months ago, namely that my problems and regular visits/deliveries into the hospital and the Cardiac Urgency place was WRONG!
Wrong place – should have been either (for me, anyhow) either the Neurovascular Department, or (god forbid) the Gastro-enteritis Department- after all, the loss of 30 kilos (some 60 lbs) in not even three months needs some explanation!
But then again, who’s the Specialist here…..me - or one of the Gods in White?
Ok –it seems that the situation has come down to that we are all agreed at least on one thing, heart treatment is more than correct and is working very well, with an occasional “shock” from the defibrillator – they say they don’t know why, but I do – it’s because they have to treat me with injections after each attack, and injections are a danger point for the defibrillator!
These attacks are the problem. I go home from the hospital after intra-venous treatment, I’m fine, pumped full of stuff to fight the nauseous feelings of dizziness and vertigo, and slowly – at home – it all goes back to what it was and another attack happens.
Back off to the hospital! The Cardiac people (where I am ALWAYS delivered) do the checks and controls they are obliged by law to do, but of course, there is no problem there – everything is “fine” – so back on the IV drip I go and get filled up till it’s time to go home – 3 or 4 days later!
The solution has to be found, and quickly – I can’t take a lot more, and anyway – I haven’t got so much time left!
The latest idea is some new system available for certain patients – in Montpellier – if your heart pattern and other things pass, but I ask myself whether anything of that nature will work – If the problem is basically a Neurological Vascular or Gastro one?
So – We have to find out, but – it would be kind of nice to live almost normally whilst waiting!
Now – is it possible or not to provide me with the means of having medications – at home – to keep me in the same manner as in the hospital? At least that way I could almost live at home until they figured out where, why and what the problem is, and take the decision to try to fix it!
My God………at least I WOULD be in the right treatment centre!