Oh woe, oh woe....the stress, the stress....

It's obvious, the older you get, the easier life gets - doesn't it?
Well, that's what I thought too, and up till a couple of years ago, it was indeed the case.
I had my little life - regulated with good wine, with good food.....able (just) to do the things I wanted to, no holidays but a regular income thanks to my deceased wife, the German Pension System, the UK less generous system and anything I could pick up on the stony road I was travelling.
No big Mansion, no boats, Banks and Bangles (apart from the absolute necessary ones), just a simple but agreeable life.
Then all hell broke loose....... Problems upon problems, starting with health and a 'hearty' welcome to a French Health System that did, has done, and still is doing everything it can for me and my feeble heart.
They tell me it probably all started way back when my now deceased wife fell gravely ill - diagnosis Cancer of the Stomach which generalised itself, and after just 1 year, she had been operated no fewer than 6 or 7 times - in Lorrach, Germany.
During the earlier period, I seemingly adapted through stress a heart problem, and when the recommandation was made to perform a by-pass operation, I refused on the basis that this would need, in all - with the operation, the recovery period and the 'retraining' programme - around 6 months minimum, and I had, at that moment, a Wife - in Hospital - who was dying.
There was no way that I could put time on hold whilst my problems were sorted out!
The Doctors did understand that, gave me some advice, some medicines and told me that when the future of my wife was determined - one way or another - I could then come back and see them, and decide the course of action.
As the reader may well imagine, this led to enormous stress of which I was quite unaware, being too occupied in visiting my wife or taking care of her on the few occasions she came home, normally between operations.
Well, my wife died in Hospital at 36 years of age, and my life was effectively at an end.
The stress which I never realised I was suffering didn't die though, and continued to fester - just like the revolting cancer that had taken my wife.
I never contacted the Doctors in Germany - I felt that a total change was needed and I moved Countries.
I moved to France, where I and my wife had passed much time before her death, and a country which contained many, many happy memories of her and our good times both in Germany and France.

Of course, not aware of it, I carried my stress with me.
I'm not going into all the stories of those years in France and the UK, except to say that I had been bitterly disappointed by 'family' in the UK which led to my leaving and going back to France, and - of course - more stress. Doubtlessly this 'family' had been disappointed by my attitude, and possibly concerned with the fact that there was a risk of my becoming a burden upon them, their own family and their own lives.
This was not my intention at all - my wish was simply to have a contact finally, even if from one country to another or at great distance. This was not to be.
However, back to the current day.
Many things have happened. My heart condition, discovered back in Germany, remained - I saw no particular reason to allow myself to be operated. I had no family, very few close friends (mainly in France), so why bother?
Then something happened....I collapsed and was taken to hospital, at Montpellier first of all, then at Nimes. I had no choice, this was an urgency, and I had 'stents' placed, then a triple heart by-pass operation, followed by the 'retraining' programme. Everything I wanted to avoid because of my deceased wife's condition, many years before!
And - the stress came with me...... of course
Some time later, I had a meeting which - once again - changed the course of my life. Purely by accident, I don't even recall how, I made a contact with an American lady of Italian origins, Tina Concetta Marzocca by name, who was living in the USA but wished to take double nationality with her Italian background, and come to live, permanently, in Europe.

She had chosen France because she had found a school or College of Art which would accept her but as an American, she needed all kinds of paperwork.
I'm not going into all of that here, both she and myself were bombarded with stress, in America mainly for her, in France for me, and then for both of us - everywhere!
At the time when she was still in the USA preparing for France, We had contact mainly by Internet, 'Google Chat'.....
One day we were chatting by live image, and I got up from my table, in France, went to the fridge, and collapsed!
Tina, of course saw all this on the screen, and she reacted very quickly. She called, by phone, a mutual friend who lived in France, who spoke French and who knew what to do!
This friend actually called the French Emergency Services, from her home in France, told them the situation and they came to my home - broke the door down and did their job!
Tina, of course was still 'online' and was watching everything!
I regained consciousness to find an Ambulance man bending over me, and talking broken English to the TV screen and Tina!
The last thing I recall was him saying "OK - he's back with us, we're taking him to the hospital!"
An amazing history, but just a start!
This episode led to my being operated again to have a defibrillator implanted, which led in turn to all sorts of complications. Tina herself suffered various episodes, already Asthmatic she had various other problems which developed, and..... of course - the Stress followed.....
The truth of the matter is also that the Doctor's have certified 'a weak heart' wit me, even after all the operations.
My heart is working at just 30% capacity.....!
More stress, this time for both Tina and myself.
I can't go into the whole story in great detail, all I can say is that we haven't really had much good fortune since Tina's arrival from the USA.....stress, stress, more stress - for both.
Paperwork, Health, bad neighbours, things like Health insurances, finally sorted out, but again - very stressful....
The death of Tina's mother, shortly after Tina had left the USA was the height of Tina's stress curve, we thought - but no....it went on and on!
I can't possibly write all the things that have happened - impossible....all I can do is hope this little article will clear up a few things for the Reader.
To say a final goodbye is too melodramatic, but if it is, then I hope Tina wil be all right for as long as possible.
At least, for me - the stress and anxiety will be over!
I hope for Tina as well, or that she can live better than I can with it all.