last chance for Christmas - today only....!

A Scotsman.

Essentially speaking, one of the 'foundling' countries of the 'Union of Great Britain',also known as the 'United Kingdom'or simply 'UK',Scotland is currently (2021) seriously reflecting the withdrawal from the 'Union of Great Britain'and reclaiming the statute of an Independent Nation.

Scotland - Ecosse - Schottland.

The aim of this is simple - it is wished, by the Scots, to rejoin the Union of European States, known as the EU, from which they were illegally forced to retire by the illegal Referendum, known as 'Brexit'-which forced British Union Citizens to vote on the subject of leaving the EU,or staying in it - Well over 50% of the Scots voted 'remain in Europe'

An overwhelming result.

The UK Government in Westminster,nonetheless,used the fact that marginally over 50% of ALL British voted to leave, hence 'Brexit', against the will of the Scottish people and the Scottish Government.

In Scotland, the National sport is, of course, Golf - a sport invented by bored Highland shepherds, who hit lumps of sheep excrement from one point to another with their crooks, little suspecting that not even a Century later, all the other Nations would be paying dizzy sums of money to do almost the same thing, and an American President, after buying up all the golf courses he could find, was busily cheating to declare himself as Club Champion of every one of them.

Accounts tell us he cheated permanently, and used his cart on the greens...!

You can read all about it here:    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golf

The truth is that there are not many Scotsmen or Women who have the financial means to pay the charges that this 'sport' incurs, but a local Scotsman is always worth a few strokes as a 'Caddie' - He knows his local Golf Club and Course so well.

Wow,and - did that get up
the sassenach's nose...!

We do also play football (soccer) and Rugby, to very high, International levels, but rarely Cricket, which is the national game of the english, or Sassenachs.

I found out about that in later life, when in London I discovered my exceptional talents in the sport of Cricket. The english don't take kindly to being shown up in their own sport by anybody, and when that 'anybody' is a Scotsman...well - deary me.

England baiter.

They just dislike to hear and see their wicket being broken, or watch their bowlers have the ball sent screaming for 6 runs, back over their heads, on frequent occasions.

Mrs. STURGEON - Scotswoman and
future Mother of Europe.

As the photo shows, the Scotsman/woman, is a naturally outgoing person, doesn't like hiding things, and another of his/her favourite pastimes is the mocking of predominantly English politicians. It is one of our ways of taking revenge for Centuries of mistreatment.

True though it is, We're not really 
annoyed, we're more amused.

It's the bane of a Scotsman's life - being often accused of "stinginess". We have got used to it from the englishman and can laugh over it. 

In fact, it is, more often than not, simply the lack of funds, because We have already given more than We should have - to others, and the englishman cannot complain - he has already siphoned off more than his fair share of Scotland's wealth, and We have never seen the colour of our rights, and our justly correct entitlements.

We are accused of many things, like having a staple diat of Porridge, and a form of "Oats" that the English (for example) would not want to get - made from water and salt, and not (as in the English version) of milk and sugar...!

Puts hair on your chest, they say.

We are also accused of wearing skirts, but nobody would dare to suggest this as an "effeminate" factor.

We are accused of wearing little or nothing underneath this skirt, but this is a mixture of legend, and the fact - once again - that no money was available for English-style bloomers!

In fact, the practice of wearing, or not wearing, is highly dependent on individual endowments, and lucky is the Scotsman who wears something underneath, for the National emblem - a Thistle - is not the thing to tangle with if you have nothing on - underneath.

A shade draughty...!

Another well known plant in Scotland (almost the National plant) - the Heather - is also a "prickly" subject!

The Scotsman is accused, unjustly, of making noises!

It's not he, himself, it's the one and only instrument he has (made from home-grown things) that makes the noise and produces laments. Strangely enough, this instrument and the noise it produces, are much searched for - worldwide.

As I said - International.

The Scotsman also has a very pronounced sense of justice and fair-play, much more so than that of the English, who claim to be the instigators.

He has understood, a long time ago, that if you don't let others win, they don't want to play with you any more, so - when a Scotsman looks at the International Rugby league, he is generally charmed to see that his team has justified their presence and their motto of allowing others to celebrate.

Something which is never missing in Scotland are wooden spoons, and just as well too - they are needed to make and eat the porridge.

In short, everything the Scots have or ever have invented, has been "acquired" by others, from Golf to Whisky (with no "e") from Kilts to Bagpipes.

The Scotsman's National Heritage holds many, many wonderful things, from Porridge to Robbie Burns, to whom a whole Night is dedicated, more often than not English visitors are in the majority.

Odes to a "wee timid cowering beastie" (the mouse) or another Ode, "To a Haggis", are read and thunderously applauded by these invited Sassenachs, whose participation cheques have already been converted to a more readily usable currency.

The Scotsman, finally, is obviously an open, honest, World citizen, and with such delicacies as Porridge, Haggis, Whisky, Salmon,lobster and even Oysters, he is an obvious "Gourmet-connaisseur" with a large slice of travel and learning requirement in his veins.

He (the Scotsman) has no racist thoughts, and is therefore ideally placed to travel the World - often in very high society - and very diplomatically solves highly important World problems.

So the truth is now known, by all...!

It is murmured that on top of the some 5 million or so Scotspeople living actually in Scotland, there are around 3 times more scattered around the World.

I did think We were more.

To go so far as the English, and say that for a Scotsman the best road is "that which leads to England" is not only untrue, but stupid.

What are BRITISH CUSTOMS...?
This may well happen very soon
with Scotland in the EU.

On the other hand, the English, I am sure, would be the first to admit and rejoice over their good fortune in having, or having had, so many "Scots/Jocks/Scotties" at the height of their Society!

That always has been the case and will no doubt remain so! They won't be at Westminster, but in Brussels - but they will still be Scots.

It's going to be amusing to see the english being controlled when they want to enter Europe, at the border with Hadrian's Wall and....SCOTLAND.

If YOU have a Scotsman as a friend, treat him well and kindly - you will be repaid in kind...!

This one's in Southern France, that's
where He's staying. You might bump into him.
Mr le marquis du Galipot.