TINKERBELLES LAMENT!! (authorized by "publish & be damned")
Chez mr.le Marquis du Galipot.
PART ONE: (original text)
What is a senior citizen?
A senior citizen is one who was here before: The pill, Television,Frozen foods,contact lenses,credit cards, and even before man walked on the moon.
For us, time-sharing meant togetherness, and not holiday-homes.
A "chip" meant a piece of wood ( Editor's note:here one can see her nearness to Chippie ) - Hardware meant nuts and bolts, and "software" wasn't even a word.
We got married first, and then lived together, and we thought "cleavage" was something butchers did!
A "stud" was something which fastened a collar to a shirt, and "going all the way" meant staying on the bus right to the depot.
We thought "fast-food" was what you ate in the period of Lent.
A "big-mac" was an over-sized raincoat and "crumpet" was something we had for tea.
In our day, "grass" was mown and not smoked, "pot" was something you cooked in - "coke" was kept in the coal cellar, and a joint was cooked on Sundays.
We are today's "Senior Citizens" - a hardy bunch when you think how the world has changed!
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END OF PART 1. (PART 2 AFTER A COFFEE BREAK!- no cigarette, I've given up - again!)
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(MAKE YOUR OWN DEFINITIONS -eg. "handy" meant to be usefully in the right place when needed, or "satellites" were called "sputniks" and went "beep-beep" (just like the TV programmes they send nowadays!)
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PART 2. PART 2. PART 2. PART 2. (Original text)
Stop Press:
IMPORTANT NEWS RELEASE *******SENIOR CITIZENS ARE EUROPES LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS.********
Hearing aids - bandaids - roll aids - walking aids - medical aids - governmental aids - most monetary aids - aids to the kids - etc, etc.
AND TO ROUND OFF MY LAMENT:
The golden years have come at last,
I cannot see, I cannot pee,
I cannot chew, I cannot screw,
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks,
no sense of smell, I look like hell,
My body is drooping, I have trouble pooping,
The golden years have come at last,
Well - THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY A--E!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Editor's note: One could believe that Tinkerbelle was in a bad way, but actually, she is in a wonderful state - FOR HER AGE!!
The editor would have liked to publish all the other lament's, but he only has permission for the above, now published!
PART ONE: (original text)
What is a senior citizen?
A senior citizen is one who was here before: The pill, Television,Frozen foods,contact lenses,credit cards, and even before man walked on the moon.
For us, time-sharing meant togetherness, and not holiday-homes.
A "chip" meant a piece of wood ( Editor's note:here one can see her nearness to Chippie ) - Hardware meant nuts and bolts, and "software" wasn't even a word.
We got married first, and then lived together, and we thought "cleavage" was something butchers did!
A "stud" was something which fastened a collar to a shirt, and "going all the way" meant staying on the bus right to the depot.
We thought "fast-food" was what you ate in the period of Lent.
A "big-mac" was an over-sized raincoat and "crumpet" was something we had for tea.
In our day, "grass" was mown and not smoked, "pot" was something you cooked in - "coke" was kept in the coal cellar, and a joint was cooked on Sundays.
We are today's "Senior Citizens" - a hardy bunch when you think how the world has changed!
0=0=0=0=0=0=0
END OF PART 1. (PART 2 AFTER A COFFEE BREAK!- no cigarette, I've given up - again!)
0-0-0-0-0-0-0
(MAKE YOUR OWN DEFINITIONS -eg. "handy" meant to be usefully in the right place when needed, or "satellites" were called "sputniks" and went "beep-beep" (just like the TV programmes they send nowadays!)
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
PART 2. PART 2. PART 2. PART 2. (Original text)
Stop Press:
IMPORTANT NEWS RELEASE *******SENIOR CITIZENS ARE EUROPES LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS.********
Hearing aids - bandaids - roll aids - walking aids - medical aids - governmental aids - most monetary aids - aids to the kids - etc, etc.
AND TO ROUND OFF MY LAMENT:
The golden years have come at last,
I cannot see, I cannot pee,
I cannot chew, I cannot screw,
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks,
no sense of smell, I look like hell,
My body is drooping, I have trouble pooping,
The golden years have come at last,
Well - THE GOLDEN YEARS CAN KISS MY A--E!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Editor's note: One could believe that Tinkerbelle was in a bad way, but actually, she is in a wonderful state - FOR HER AGE!!
The editor would have liked to publish all the other lament's, but he only has permission for the above, now published!
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