Kostik komet komments.
I was sitting there, last night, as is my whim, in front of a screen which does not inspire me at the moment, and having "zapped" through all 469 TV channels I have access to, I was obliged to admit that my monthly subscription charges were wasted, at least for that evening. This does happen quite often, and then I am obliged to actually give my attention to those channels I normally would never watch (which I am watching more frequently than ever - if you follow me) and lo - behold - something different, joyful, comical, interesting: Comets and us!
I said "COMETS" not "comics", chippie, things that fall down (or up - nobody cleared this point) from the sky, and not those complicated books you read, containing balloons with the few written words supplied, surrounded by photos or drawings.
Well, this programme gave birth to this blogspot. Everything seemed to "fit in" afterwards. Having found out that there are probably some 200,000,000 = 200million (conservatively estimated, probably 10 times that number) bits and pieces of ice, stone, gravel etc that are bombing around, near our planet, ready to pounce upon us, and we only know of the existance of some 250 to 300, and each one capable of destroying ALL the dinosaurs (by which I mean the crappy human race) - I felt slightly happier - at least those bloody politicians would get their come-uppance! It appears that the chances of me (or anyone else) winning the jackpot on the Lotto are more in my disfavour than my chances of being hit by a meteor or a comet. In other words, you risk getting tonked by a comet a lot more than getting tonked by an almighty amount of cash! I suspect the results would be similar. So there you are, folks, be informed, and always carry an umberella, to divert the comets.
After this, I needed some uplifting, so I went onto the news channel, where (as everybody knows) only the GOOD bad news is divulged. They won't tell you that in about 10 minutes the latest comet is going to impact over the S.E. of England, but they will tell you that the jackpot for the latest Lotto draw was NOT won by one of their colleagues - she just happens to be off sick- the doctors think it is legionnaires disease- in fact it wasn't won by any bugger - that fits the statistics!
They then passed on to the American justice system, where we were informed that some time ago a bunch of big cops just "popped in" to Michael Jackson's place to take a few quick snapshots of his genitals. Happens all the time, and being disappointed not to find him in bed with anyone, they departed with their congenitals. Whereupon, Michael (bless 'im) called upon one of his young guests to come and comfort him. Shortly afterwards, a member of the guard outside the bedroom door was apparantly asked if he could arrange and prequire some vaseline. Happens all the time! Totally innocent factors, all strung together to make out that naughty boys will be naughty boys.
It was at this moment that I changed my thoughts about Tinkerbelle - my mate Chippies "her indoors". She apparantly is required, often, (more often than the average) to be a part of a panel of jurors in the local courts. In this case, I think she must have a wonderful (more wonderful than I had thought) knowledge of human nature, if she is confronted with all these things, and is still capable to return "not guilty" verdicts. Never mind, Michael has all my support and sympathy - after all, it must be terrible to realise that you have only got another 400 million left!
With all that - I went to bed, had my 19th, upteenth, cardiac attack, didn't die, and woke up to find the sun shining, and for some bizarre reason, the music playing on the town loudspeakers (which it normally only does on Market days or Festival days - today being neither). I understood later on in the day, when I saw the table outside the church, with the little "condolences" book installed, and again later when the hearse turned up with the coffin, and the music played - "Oh! Happy Day" - Not someone greatly appreciated in the community, it would seem! They would love to do the same for me, but I ain't going nowhere near a bloody church, and if somebody goes over these directions, left formally by me - be they DAMNED FOR LIFE (but at least damned to be hit by a BIG comet!) This threat probably means they will win the jackpot on the lotto, and will be put in touch with Michael Jackson and will pass a wonderful life for the rest of their days, and: "If they didn't die - they lived happily ever after" !!! Grimm stories of even Grimmer people, in even Grimmer days.
No fotos - blogger doesn't like them, but you can all put your imagination to work, thinking about what photos I WOULD have published to go along with this article!!
Tatty piddle, tatty poo!
I said "COMETS" not "comics", chippie, things that fall down (or up - nobody cleared this point) from the sky, and not those complicated books you read, containing balloons with the few written words supplied, surrounded by photos or drawings.
Well, this programme gave birth to this blogspot. Everything seemed to "fit in" afterwards. Having found out that there are probably some 200,000,000 = 200million (conservatively estimated, probably 10 times that number) bits and pieces of ice, stone, gravel etc that are bombing around, near our planet, ready to pounce upon us, and we only know of the existance of some 250 to 300, and each one capable of destroying ALL the dinosaurs (by which I mean the crappy human race) - I felt slightly happier - at least those bloody politicians would get their come-uppance! It appears that the chances of me (or anyone else) winning the jackpot on the Lotto are more in my disfavour than my chances of being hit by a meteor or a comet. In other words, you risk getting tonked by a comet a lot more than getting tonked by an almighty amount of cash! I suspect the results would be similar. So there you are, folks, be informed, and always carry an umberella, to divert the comets.
After this, I needed some uplifting, so I went onto the news channel, where (as everybody knows) only the GOOD bad news is divulged. They won't tell you that in about 10 minutes the latest comet is going to impact over the S.E. of England, but they will tell you that the jackpot for the latest Lotto draw was NOT won by one of their colleagues - she just happens to be off sick- the doctors think it is legionnaires disease- in fact it wasn't won by any bugger - that fits the statistics!
They then passed on to the American justice system, where we were informed that some time ago a bunch of big cops just "popped in" to Michael Jackson's place to take a few quick snapshots of his genitals. Happens all the time, and being disappointed not to find him in bed with anyone, they departed with their congenitals. Whereupon, Michael (bless 'im) called upon one of his young guests to come and comfort him. Shortly afterwards, a member of the guard outside the bedroom door was apparantly asked if he could arrange and prequire some vaseline. Happens all the time! Totally innocent factors, all strung together to make out that naughty boys will be naughty boys.
It was at this moment that I changed my thoughts about Tinkerbelle - my mate Chippies "her indoors". She apparantly is required, often, (more often than the average) to be a part of a panel of jurors in the local courts. In this case, I think she must have a wonderful (more wonderful than I had thought) knowledge of human nature, if she is confronted with all these things, and is still capable to return "not guilty" verdicts. Never mind, Michael has all my support and sympathy - after all, it must be terrible to realise that you have only got another 400 million left!
With all that - I went to bed, had my 19th, upteenth, cardiac attack, didn't die, and woke up to find the sun shining, and for some bizarre reason, the music playing on the town loudspeakers (which it normally only does on Market days or Festival days - today being neither). I understood later on in the day, when I saw the table outside the church, with the little "condolences" book installed, and again later when the hearse turned up with the coffin, and the music played - "Oh! Happy Day" - Not someone greatly appreciated in the community, it would seem! They would love to do the same for me, but I ain't going nowhere near a bloody church, and if somebody goes over these directions, left formally by me - be they DAMNED FOR LIFE (but at least damned to be hit by a BIG comet!) This threat probably means they will win the jackpot on the lotto, and will be put in touch with Michael Jackson and will pass a wonderful life for the rest of their days, and: "If they didn't die - they lived happily ever after" !!! Grimm stories of even Grimmer people, in even Grimmer days.
No fotos - blogger doesn't like them, but you can all put your imagination to work, thinking about what photos I WOULD have published to go along with this article!!
Tatty piddle, tatty poo!
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