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AND UP YOUR’S - MSN/MICROSOFT/INTERNET EXPLORER!
Title: Fowl days for foxes and feathers. (From today’s newspapers)
Amazing, quite amazing. Once again the so-called “lower forms of life” have shown us where to get off!
To date, all feathered and furred varieties of migratory bestiality have followed the instructions given at the entry to the 5 ports, and have all followed the signs put up all over Europe. A little trip was sufficient to see what was going on at our doorstep.
Groups of willing workers around the coastline of UK were setting up many signs with large arrows on them, pointing towards the “Tunnel/Chunnel” entrance. Underneath the arrows, in more discreetly sized writing, were various paroles, all of them amounting to the same:
“Dear furred and feathered friends, we would appreciate your assistance in this moment of gravity. Please, if you can, put off your migratory flights, or furry footed crossings for pleasure purposes. You will be better off staying in England’s green and pleasant land, this winter, because you are ill! If you have to go, then please take the tunnel, where you can pass through the “disinfectation area”, where we promise NOT to kill and eat you.
We know, as you do, that the Tschernobyl atomic cloud stopped just short of every European border, to ask permission of entry, but this ‘flu stuff is not being as considerate.
If you MUST travel, it is advised to travel only ONE-WAY, with no return trip planned, because the French hunters, always very active (even outside of the season, as you all know) have carte blanche to mow you all down with machine gun fire.
All furry friends, in particular foxes (and their families), are welcome to drop by the office at the entrance/exit to the tunnel, where they can pick up a route map to Chippie and Tinkerbelle’s place, where they will be welcome to pass the period.
If you can contact your relatives abroad, do try to persuade them to follow the signs set up around the Luxembourg/French borders, and turn right to go up to Wacky-Backy’s area, preferable to the UK, with it’s eternal cups of tea.
Should they prefer to remain in France, then they should follow the signs mentioning “beer/wine/café and cognac” and try to avoid signs mentioning “coq au vin” or “game stew”.
We have arranged for all movement within the tunnel to be stopped, so that you can pass safely, having taken a little consoling and relaxing bath in the disinfection area!
We are sorry that no milk is available for your tea, but all the cows (responsible for this product) learnt their lesson regarding human promises some years ago, and have not responded favourably to our appeal.
The digestive biscuits have all, unfortunately, been dunked, but it was tea-time after all!
If you follow our instructions to the letter, you will have nothing to fear, but you will, as always, regret it!”
So off we all went, each one to our destination (or was it destiny). I’m furry, four-footed, big fuzzy tail, got around 12 kids and 3 wives, BUT…. I’ve got my routemap straight to:
Chippie and Tinkerbelle’s place - (WB is following with the wacky-backy).
The above is an apology for the work of art destroyed by Internet Explorer. I’m changing browsers!
weather at Vauvert, France
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