an older military tale.......
This fellow was long gone, but he reared his head, strangely
enough, in a sleepy little West German town called Detmold.
The Royals (1st
Dragoons), known generally as the "Royals", and now a part of the well known
"Blues & Royals" (mounted cavalry, although I rarely saw a horse) were
arranging their affairs, to go to war - in France!
Actually,
it was a new NATO arrangement for so called "desert training" and we - almost
500 soldiers, a couple of dozen Centurion tanks - Ferret Scout Cars, and all the
rest of the paraphenalia necessary to pass a couple of months
in the Sunny South of France-these were our 'affairs'!
I, for my part, was convinced of
my intentions during these 2-3 months, I was going to get a suntan!
Going out in
stifling heat onto the dusty flat plains of the "Plateau de Larzac" in a
Centurion tank, all "batonned" down, did not fall into my plans!
So - the first thing to do was find a "cozy" little corner job- and do
something normally NOT advised in the Armed Forces, VOLUNTEER! The thing was that in the Regimental announcement bulletin, they had
asked for anyone with a knowledge of the French language to report to the
Regimental Quartermaster's offices, where they would be tested for "usefulness"
in our projected move to France!
I thought it over, and over,
and over again, but could see no real critical reason NOT to pop down to the
QM's place. I wondered who this Regimental genius was who would "assess" all the
Regimental French speakers!
This was, after all, at the
beginning of the 60's, and Army personel were not noted for their prowess in the
classroom, whilst not being stupid, the tendency was to put everyone through the
mysteries of the "Army Education Certificates" with few exceptions, one of which
I had been, due to my Grammar School educational background.
It was partly for
this reason that I thought I ought to volunteer my services, for they probably
were very aware of my Grammar School studies of the French language anyway!
On arriving in the offices of the said Major, I was surprised at
the lack of people present!
I was on my own!
After a few
minutes waiting, I was finally received by the QM, who stated quite openly that
he was surprised to see me there, he was aware that I had served (more "been
used") by the Regiment as a sort of go between for German language matters, and
he didn't, or couldn't,beleive that anybody could speak more than two languages,
without getting them completely mixed up.
This, coming from a QM of Irish
origins, who had difficulty with the English language was quite an amusing
situation, but as usual "say nought!"
After 5 minutes of being
stared at as though I was an alien being, and having demonstrated my prowess in
the language of Molière (I feel that I could have said anything to him, and I
think I did!) to his perfect satisfaction, I was informed that I was engaged for
the "Larzac" expedition, and would be transferred on "internal posting" to the
QM's Department!
This in itself was quite pleasing news,
because it's in the QM Dept that fortunes can be made, and you are NEVER in need
of a meal, or a piece of supplementary equipment! 
(Le camp du Larzac)
(Le camp du Larzac)
My duties as "liaison" between British and French, on that infamous plateau
called Larzac, in the Southerly regions of France.
My job it would be to go,
daily, from the Plateau de Larzac down to the plains of the Languedoc, buying
and picking up supplies of the category "non Military"stuff, fresh things, like butter, bread, cheese,fruit,vegetables,eggs and all the rest, for a Regiment of
almost 500 people! 
(Village "La
Cavalerie")
(Village "La
Cavalerie")
This was the
first year that British soldiers had been ordered to the Nato exercise zones, so
no preparations had been made, apart from the normal "iron" rations (all
completely in tins - some dating back to the 1st WW) and that was quite
unacceptable for the previewed period of almost 3 months, so plans had to be
made for "local purchases".
It seemed that the French Army, responsible for the
lot, in principle, had as much difficulty as the British for French-somebody
capable of speaking English!
It seemed that I was to descend from the Plateau
with a convoy of 6 x 4 ton wagons, and after having passed through the areas of
Pezenas and Béziers, (where we loaded pre-calculated/ordered and paid for
articles) we then had a list of properties going up the coast line where we
should purchase fruit and vegtable items, amongst others! From there we were to
go to Lunel, and pick up so much bread (fresh) that a Regiment of 500 needed -
daily!
Then back to the Camp du Larzac, in time for lunch preparation - normally
smelling like one enormous "baguette" as we passed through the local towns,
occasionally mixed with the powerful perfume of the local melons, which were a
problem, for they tainted everything else with their perfume, and melon tasting
eggs are not greatly appreciated!
Most of these local things had to be paid
"cash" - the locals having suspicious views about Military promise of payment
forms!
This meant that cash had to be taken, the Euro, of course didn't exist,
and indeed we were at the eve of the last great reform from "FF"(French Francs)
to "NFF" (New French Francs") exactly 100FF = 1 NFF. This meant that locals were
still talking in FF's, and would continually go on about "millions" when
actually hundreds were meant! This continues even up to this date, even more
confusing when you're talking about Euros!
Anyway - a translator's nightmare!
If
I had been a little less honest, I think I could have made my personal fortune
in those first few months so large, that I could have retired there and then!
Now - these pre-calculated and ordered items had been pre- calculated by the
French Army, and as everybody knows, French and British tastes do not marry in
all things!
Tea was almost non-existant, but loads and loads of coffee was available,
and how I should explain away the delivery of gallons of (relatively) crude red
wine and small packs of cigarettes (5 Gaulloises in a packet) to the British
Regimental Rations Officer, wasn't clear! One thing should be explained from the
outset.
The roads up to the Larzac plateau, and down from the Larzac plateau,
were not as they are nowadays!
No Viaduct de Millau, no motorways, no by-passes,
just the old fashioned RN12, which (going towards Millau) had been completely
destroyed by those Centurion tanks which had arrived at Millau station, by train, and were
obliged to make their way up to the Camp by road!
In later years, Road Transporters
were used, and that's how the French came to have a much better RN 12 between
Millau and La Cavalerie!
It took hours to do the round trip, so we had to set
off at around 3am everyday except Sunday, and with a bit of luck, we'd get back
(with the fresh bread for lunch) around 11am! 
(arriving at Millau
station)
(arriving at Millau
station)
This was the period when places like "La Grande Motte" had just
been thought of, but not built, when Tourism in Languedoc was limited to long
dressed English ladies at Montpellier!
We were "exotic" and we thought the
French were "exotic".
After all, this was still the period when a trip to France
was an adventure, fraught with stories about French car mechaniciens and so on!
We were welcome - certainly, particularly since we could be passed off with the
worst red wine I've ever drunk in my life (at 1F the litre - if you brought your
own bottle, 1F 50 if you didn't!)
The 3 cafes in the village were full of
British soldiers, and the barracks full of empty bottles and vomit!
Some people
made a lively little sideline of gathering up the bottles, and taking them back,
only to be told that they would have to pay the 1F for the wine, no refunds of
deposits were given!
The French and British points of view were clearly defined,
and I don't think they've changed to this day!
There are so many little
anecdotes of my experiences over the following 3 years (for it lasted as long as
that!). I can't list them all here, from my "guard duties" on R&R (rest and
recreation) weekends at the beaches of Agde, although described as "Military"
they were actually separated (on both sides) by simple wooden posts, driven into
the sand, which carried the message on one side "Plage Militaire" and on the
other side "Plage Culturelle" (meaning nudist beach!) - There was very little
Rest and Recreation for me on these weekends, but I suspect a great deal (in
spite of my attempts to avert it) "Recreation and Procreation" amongst British
soldiers and French holiday makers - and finally to the permanent posting (over
3 years) of myself and 4 others, to the Larzac camp, necessitating our
promotions, and posting to the F-Legion! 
That's how I can, legally, claim to have been "with the Legion" (I
was attached, which is best, it gives you all the advantages, but none of the
silly marches and other disadvantages!) All these anectodes will have to be for
another day, since concentration is needed, and it's lunch time! You can always
follow the continuation of this tale by
That's how I can, legally, claim to have been "with the Legion" (I
was attached, which is best, it gives you all the advantages, but none of the
silly marches and other disadvantages!) All these anectodes will have to be for
another day, since concentration is needed, and it's lunch time! You can always
follow the continuation of this tale by
going to: http://www.marquisdugalipot.blogspot.com/ OR SIMPLY DO A "GOOGLE
IT" SEARCH ON "iwmpop"
About Me
- Ian Mitchell
- Vauvert - Camargue, South of France-Gard,Languedoc-Rouissillon, FR
- "If the world were square, our angles would be different" (Si le monde était carre, nos angles seront différentes!)-(original quote-Mr le Marquis)
Comments